ABRAHAM LINCOLN ANNOUNCES 2020 PRESIDENTIAL RUN
LOS ANGELES, Calif. (February 17, 2019) — Just in time for Presidents Day, Abraham Lincoln has announced his candidacy for the 2020 Presidential election. He joins a crowded Democratic field with a platform that focuses on income inequality and LGBTQ rights, along with gun control, a topic he is understandably passionate about.
Abraham Lincoln was the 16th President of the United States, known for delivering the Gettysburg address and ending slavery, along with being physically unattractive. He consistently ranks among the top 5 Presidents of all time and is featured on Mount Rushmore, the Lincoln Memorial, and the penny.
Thanks to revolutionary advances in human regeneration, this Presidential campaign Americans can look forward to beautiful oration, filled with outdated and possibly tone-deaf references. And in response to detractors who doubt the candidate’s eligibility and aliveness, Campaign Manager Tess Baker said, “Why not? It makes as much sense as everything else.”
He will kick off his campaign at a series of events during the 2019 Hollywood Fringe Festival (dates below.) His wife will not be joining him, as she remains dead.
Coming to the Broadwater Second Stage -
Thursday, 6/6 at 6:30pm (Preview)
Friday, 6/14 at 11pm
Thursday, 6/20 at 5pm
Friday, 6/21 at 8pm
Sunday, 6/23 at 5pm
Wednesday, 6/26 at 8pm
Saturday, 6/29 at 7pm
Follow Abe’s Journey on Instagram: @lincoln.2020